An Online Small Business Guide for Newbiesby Pamela Heywood BS and Bananaboats"We'll give you plenty, because you've just come on one!" Are you an online newbie? Do you want to make money? Lots of it? Gee, step inside, read on, be taken in ... Sorry, I mean take in the message of the amazing secrets this spiel has to reveal. You don't want to get a job and have to W O R K - oooh no! That's a four-letter word. Never fear, just like you already heard, there are gazillions of wonderful, simple and easy ways to earn millions of $$$$$$$$ right here on the Internet. And do you wanna know the best part? You don't have to do NOTHING! All you've got to do is keep forking out $29.95 for each one of the sure-fire, red-hot scams, sorry opportunities, and those $$$$$$$$ are just gonna come rolling in, right? You're dreaming of that life of luxury on a sub-tropical island. The yacht, the limo, house on the beach ... Maybe some supermodel for company. It's great to meet a dreamer! OK, this is all you have to do ... Join this great scam, sorry plan, I am promoting and you'll get rich overnight on the residual income that I will share with all participants. No products, no selling, no promotion, no marketing, no value ... In fact ... This won't cost you $29.95!!! This simple three-step plan won't even cost you one dollar!!! Hurry, sign up NOW!!! Offer ends today!!! Here's all you have to do. Send me the following three easily obtained items - almost everyone has them just lying around the house - by express mail to my secret mailbox, along with details of your deposit account balance and your mortgage deeds and, provided you're worth enough, you will be enrolled in this sure- fire opportunity for LIFE!!! Send today ...
Here's some testimonials to convince you what you'll be missing out on if you say no - straight from the mouths of the fools who already had the sense to enroll! "It's great! Just as Little Pepe got to that noisy stage (he was teething) I found the way to get a night's rest. No, I don't miss him at all, well I guess I won't eventually." Mrs S. A. D. Gonzalez, Miami "Fred Jr. was a difficult teenager and was no different after he'd turned 50. He was always a loser, right up until he got involved with that drugs gang, but even the State Penitentiary wouldn't keep him forever, so I'm real happy to pay the price for this plan. You're really welcome." Fred Z Huckenbacker III Sr., Texas "Anyway I'm left handed." Jose Luis Gonzalez Gonzalez, Miami "I gotta tell ya sweetie, none of those miracle diets work. This is great, do you want a few more pounds?" Mrs F. Z. Huckenbacker, Texas Are you desperate enough to join these folks? Please note: The BS and Bananaboats, Inc. plan is not a religious cult. We do not usually accept donations of large sums of money. Of course, we can change that. You can just email me for my bank account details and wire it. Ongoing profit share for participants will be .0000001% of any profit made, after the deduction of 90% admin fees and a 10% tax witholding. Participants are responsible for all travel, shipping and medical costs. Yeah, right! OK, OK, I'll quit playing with you, but I hope you enjoyed it. You must have (or you really are stupid) to be still reading this far down! Nobody is that much of a sucker (are they?), but there are a lot of plans on the www that you might fall for, which do promise rather too much for decidedly too little and come with some rather undesirable other *costs*. Nothing sure-fire comes for $29.95 and no one singular plan will ever work miracles. Think about what you are being asked to promote. Does it DO anything? If it sounds too good to be true - IT IS. Remember what happens to turkeys on Thanksgiving! Read the small print, use uncommon sense and don't be in a hurry to join the online revolution, because revolutions tend to get a bit bloody. There's thousands of people coming online everyday and like anywhere else in the Wild Wild West (in this case Web), there are folks eager, waiting and willing to take advantage of those who do not as yet know better. You will not get rich quick, no matter what they claim: you can become self-sufficient if you are commited to making sound, steady progress. It's right that you don't have to do nothing to succeed online. It's a double-negative see: means you have to do something. Hey, but don't worry, it's fairly painless and easy so long as you are prepared to put in some time. By the way, I do live on a sub-tropical island - were they grow bananas - but I came by plane. Beach is about 3 miles! Copyright © 2000 Pamela Heywood. All rights reserved worldwide. NOTE: BS and Bananaboats, Inc. is not our real tradename. It isn't anybody's real tradename, I hope. If it is, I sincerely apologise and herewith inform you that we are in no way affiliated. We made up the testimonials and mean no offence to anyone called Gonzalez or Huckenbacker, but if you'd like to see our real ones, just drop in here http://www.pamela-heywood.com or subscribe to our refreshingly different newsletter mailto:allgoodthings@sendfree.com |